We've been writing a lot at On Three about the do's and the how to's of wedding etiquette but now it's time to talk about the DON'Ts. Just like your mother, we're here to tell you what not to do and threaten you with spankings for bad behavior. Just kidding... or are we?
DON'T write your registry information on your wedding invitations.
As tempting as it is to make sure everyone knows where to shop for you and your spouse-to-be, it certainly doesn't belong on your wedding invitations! If you want to spread the word, make sure to tell you close friends and family where you are registered and ask them to spread the word by mouth.
On Three Word to the Wise: This is one of those instances where a wedding website really comes in handy. Set up a tab on your website for registry information that provides a link directly to the registry.
DON'T forget to feed your vendors
This is a big one! Your vendors have gone above and beyond for you all day, some of them working 8+ hours and at some point, they will need to eat! Your photographers, videographers, wedding planners, band members, DJ, etc should all get the chance to eat something if they choose. As a way to approach the subject right off the bat, make sure it's written somewhere into the contract. Plan on feeding your vendors from the same menu as your guest, unless they prefer otherwise.
On Three's word to the wise: Don't forget to let your caterer know how many extra meals you will need for your vendors! Some caterers have special pricing for your vendors so be sure to ask about their pricing.
DON'T announce your wedding on Facebook
I feel like this doesn't need a whole lot of explaining... do not announce your wedding details on Facebook or any other social media. Unless, of course, you plan on inviting all 1,936 of your closest friends.
DON'T wait until a year to send your Thank You's out
We're not really sure where this unwritten (and unfounded) wedding rule came from but please, please don't wait an entire year to send out your thank you notes! As a rule of thumb, thank you notes should be sent out no later than three months after the receipt of the gift. It's a daunting task, we know! To make it easier on yourself, set a daily goal. Pour yourself a glass of wine and to write 5 thank you's a night until the task is complete.
DON'T skimp on your wedding party gifts
Your bridal party has more than likely put a lot of time, thought, and money into making your engagement and wedding absolutely perfect. The best way to thank them is by giving them a really wonderful gift. We understand that some expenses simply aren't in the budget. Instead of spending hundreds, write them a hand written letter expressing your gratitude, hand make something, try customized gifts, or treat them all to lunch or manicures before the big day. There are lots of ways to say "thank you". However you choose to do it, make sure your bridal party feels appreciated for all that they have done for you.
DON'T make your guests pay for drinks
Budgets are put in place for a good reason and not everyone will have the luxury of offering an open bar for their guests. We get that! Your guests will understand that as well! Instead of offering a cash bar, try opting for budget friendly beer & wine, a signature drink that gets passed around at cocktail hour, a champagne toast, or even a BYOB if it fits the occasion. Choose the option that best fits your budget and event but make sure your guests are offered something to drink during your reception.
Make sure you DON'T forget to greet each guest personally
There are many ways to do this that don't require a long receiving line. Make sure you and your groom are present for the entire cocktail hour greeting and chatting with guests. Spend a few moments after you've eaten your dinner to talk to those guests that you may have missed. Your guests came to see you and they absolutely want say hello to you as well. They will appreciate even a few seconds of your time so very much!
DON'T try to be Superbride/groom
Delegate. Delegate. Delegate! When you begin the wedding planning process, you feel like you can do just about anything. You've booked your vendors, picked your songs, coordinated your transportation, chosen the decor and you've done it alone... so far. You've rocked it thus far but things can start to pile up very quickly and things that you really wanted to happen might get missed if you're doing it alone. If you can give some of your tasks away to people who are willing, do it. You've got a team of family, friends and vendors behind you who are most likely willing to help and just waiting for you to ask. Pour yourself that second glass of wine and relax while someone else takes away some of the stress.
DON'T make your guests wait too long between your ceremony & reception
Of course, this can't always be helped. If your ceremony is in the morning and your venue won't let you in until 6:00, come up with a way to keep your guests entertained in the mean time. Try hiring a shuttle that will bring them to a local attraction or bring them on a tour of the city. Or offer an extended cocktail hour with snacks and a signature drink. The last thing that you want is for your guest to stumble upon the local bar and eat and drink themselves into a stupor before arriving at your reception. You've put in a lot of time and paid good money to provide everyone drinks and food and you want to be sure they get to enjoy it every bit as much as you do!
DON'T compare other weddings to yours
Your wedding will be perfect because it was yours. Instead of concentrating on how to make your event better than the last one you went to, focus on enjoying your engagement and your spouse-to-be. At the end of the day, throwing the party of the year is not what is important. What's really important is that you just married your best friend. Breathe. Relax. and DON'T forget to have fun.